I've got to learn to listen...

I don't listen to Sarah. I really don't.

When she has problems and feels down and depressed I try and solve them for her. But I shouldn't. I should just listen. And support her. If she needs solutions to her problems, she'll ask.

I just have to listen.

So here I go...

I love my country

But I loath the current regime for screwing it up!

I shouldn't even be considering immigration. That thought shouldn't even have entered my mind! But it did. And it does. And it will continue to - and I blame our rulers for that!

I love my country. I love our natural beauty. I love our people and our food and our culture.

Sitting here so far away from home - I miss it. I really do. It's a wonderful place. Unique in so many ways. But...

I loath my government. I loath our crime problem. I loath incompetence and laziness and the corrupt.

They just don't seem to be able to fix problems. No wait... Let me rephrase that... They just don't seem to be able to admit that there are problems! They don't even get to the fixing part.

And complain? They label you a racist.

Or they try and pass the buck by asking "what are you doing to help?".

Fuck you! I am a hard-working, non corrupt member of society and thus I am already doing more than you are!

Stop blaming the past! Stop blaming the West! Stop lining your pockets with bribes! Stop looking for excuses, rewarding incompetence, helping out an old corrupt struggle buddy, putting your needs in front of those you serve.

JUST STOP!

And fix my country.

I'll help. My family and friends will help. We'll all help. But we need you, too.

So, please, just stop. And start showing us that you are capable of running our country. If you're not, step down. If you are, fix it.

Because we all love our country.

Missing

I hate feeling homesick.

I hate missing Sarah and my loved ones. I hate missing speaking my language. I hate missing spending time with family and friends. I hate missing rugby. I hate missing 47" TVs. I hate missing the traffic. I hate missing bad public service. I hate missing electricity blackouts.

I hate missing.

But what I hate most of all, is that when I'm home, I'll still hate missing Sarah...

My other half

So I told you about Sarah.

But what I didn't tell you was that she makes my world a better place. But she is far, far away - in a country filled with evil people (according to some international espionage agent)...

I need to have her near me. She is my missing puzzle piece. She is my strawberry when I am the cream. She is my Crystalis when I am the Deamon Edge (don't ask).

She reads this blog...

Hello my Angel. I'll wait for you...

Always.

The Girlfriend

I've got a girlfriend. Her name is Sarah.

She's far away. But more of her, later... Today I'm sick...

Time zone tortures

I'm 5 hours behind my family. And I'm 5 hours behind the love of my life.

I'm here. I've been here for a couple of days. Not bad - kind of enjoying it... 'cept for the time zone differences...

Evenings are the worst. I miss my loved ones the most when the sun starts setting. By then they are all asleep, leaving me with no one to talk to.

At least I have you, dear Reader...

It's just not the same...

Today I packed...

... I packed my bags to leave for a country with more murders per year than the country I live in. Which is actually a great feat, since I live in a country with one of the worst crime problems on the planet. I think we still beat them with murders-per-capita, though. If I'm not mistaken, we're ranked #1 in the world with that one... Not really a statistic you can be proud of.

Anyway, I've packed. I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll be gone for 3 months.

It'll be the first time I live on my own. It'll be the first time I'm overseas. It'll be the longest I've ever been away from home. It'll be the first time where speaking English yields blank stares on people's faces... The other language that I speak will help me even less...

Like I've said... toughest year of my life!

Call me Joe...

... and this is my blog on why 2008 has been - and still is - one of the toughest years of my life.

Of course Joe is not my real name. None of the names that I'll be using when telling my stories will be real. I don't have any real reason for this...

Although this year has been tough so far - nothing I did really requires me to hide my identity; nothing I did was illegal, immoral or unethical... Hmm...? So why am I using an alias then...?

Good question. Answer: I don't know. Let's just say I'm doing it to protect the identities of the innocent. Bad answer, but anyway...

Call me Joe.